Mess I Made
by fangissocoollike
Summary: Katniss Everdeen returns from the 74th annual Hunger Games as a lone victor. Pain threatens to rock her life of course, helping depression seep into her as her life goes on. But what if a certain hunter boy won't give up on her? What if they were meant to be? KatnissxGale
1. Chapter 1

**So... a little Gale-niss? :D I think yes. Please r&r and a Field of Cloves might be updated SOON. We're having technical difficulties.**

It's been one month.  
One month away from the games.  
One month since Peeta died.  
Tears laced my lashes, biting against my cheeks as my legs indifferently fell into an easy stride towards town.  
Not like I want to go there.  
I try to focus my mind on why I came here, my game bag itself tapping through my cotton-rid calf, as if trying to remind me why I'm torturing myself like this. My hands fumble with the bottom of my worn shirt, finally having something to grip onto. It's not uncommon for me to lose myself like this, but at least I could usually keep it together until I stepped onto the mossy forest floor. I shut my eyes, pressed my palm up to the barkery door, almost waiting for a pulse to start thumping from the hearty wood. I can't stay here, I have to get it over with. With a now clenched fist I pushed the door open, shuddering when the slicing sound of jiggling bells met my ears.  
"Hey Katniss" A bound voice slid around the warm walls.  
I looked up, wrapping my dad's leather jacket around myself and took a grasp on the game bag.  
"Hey" I offer one solemn nod as the father of the boy who I killed moved slowly to the counter infront of me.  
"Anything I could do for you today?" I forced myself to look into his eyes, trying not to wince as the familiar grooves of a face started to painfully reappear in my mind.  
" I uh.." My voice faltered.  
Same blond hair.  
Same blue eyes.  
Same jaw line.  
Tears threatened to sting my eyes as I clumsily opened my game bag and tossed two squirrels on the cleaned counter.  
"I understand... what two loaves would you want?" His voice hid no trace of betrayal or anger, just a thick vibe of sadness being threaded through with hurt.  
I cleared my throat.  
"Those two" Control started to fade out as my shaky hand pointed to the end two in the corner of the light shelf. He grabbed the two plump loaves, handling them quickly since they were fresh ut of the oven, and dropped them next to the squirrels.  
I looked at him, a frown twitching on the the corners of my mouth.  
How could I look into the eyes of a man who's son I killed?  
As if he read my thoughts Mr. Mellark released a sigh, and crossed his arms to steady himself.  
"You need to stop blaming myself for my son's death Katniss, it wasn't your fault." The man looked up at me with a sheen of tears threatening to make an appearance.  
"But it WAS my fault, I could have saved him, I could have died for him." I clutched the two loaves tightly, trying to let the heat bring me back to life.  
He sighed again trying to stop the pain from stinging his own heart.  
"No, it's not. I may be old but my eyes don't deceive me. And besides, he rather be dead then you be dead."

Words seemingly escape my mind, my mouth winded with the panting of nightmares soon to come. "No, you don't understand it's just that-" A single tear slid down my cheek, cutting through the hard earned dirt that I packed on this morning.  
"I don't need to, and take these" He dropped two round cookies on the counter, holding back suppressed tears.  
I would argue, but who knows into what kind of emotional breakdown I would have endorsed myself into. So instead I offer a rash nod, placing both of them into my now empty game bag, offering a simple wave as a good-bye.  
I want to cry.  
Salt filled my numb mouth as I trekked back home, not bothering to apologize as I bumped through throngs of chattering people. I reach my metal door, whipping the passcode into the pad as I shudder with each warm breeze.  
"Catnip?" I turn around.  
Only one person calls me that.  
"Gale" I manage to choke out of my sobs as he guides me into his warm arms. "Oh Gale" I murmur into his chest, not caring who'll see us as he pushes the door open, still not letting me go.  
"Shh... shh..."He whispered as I started to shed through countless tears, soaking his shirt.  
I felt myself being moved from the kitchen, through the smell of paint and sterile metal, and finally dropped on the couch. Of course as gentle as Gale can be after a hard day of work.  
He was used to this by now, he was used to the broken emotional shell of myself.  
"Gale.." I whispered as I finally pried to open my eyes, trying to seek his for comfort. But I found nothing.  
I squeezed the last set of tears from my emotional brake down, my mind fell into the same routine of forgetting.  
"Gale?" I asked a little more steadily as I stood up from the rather new couch, feeling the scratched curls of the luxury known as carpet beneath my feet. I scratched my head, pulling tendrils of my hair from it's now loos braid. What was Gale doing home this early on a Wednesday? He should be buried in the mines right now, working with sweat beading his forehead and whisking back a pick-ax while the constant pounding of iron against coal should be filling his ears with the muted screams of men.

I hallucinated.  
Again.  
But I know at least what I need. I pull a thick woolen blanket around me, the musky scent of hides reminding me of the woods, of him. A thin smile slips onto my lips as tired-ness rocks my body, my pulse reaching my ears and endorsing me into my own thoughts.  
My heart thumps twice to tell me I miss him. But how much? I don't know. I all can do is drum my fingers against the leather of the couch, my mind drowning in thoughts of pain sorrow and a thrumming love. I can't think about this now. I can't get over feelings though. I guess that'll have to wait till Sunday.

**  
So... is it good? Please send criticism, it'll only help me get better. I'll be looking for an editor so PLEASE pm me if you want to be it :D -SheWhoSpinsIce  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**So... Please review! I shall give you extra-imaginary bonus points if you do. :D **

Chapter 2  
_  
_My small hands clamp around the thick wooden bow that my father mended out of oak and flick my wrist upwards. The quiver that is loosely strung onto it scratches my modest watch, reminding me what time is it.  
I squint out of habit, deciphering the thin black lines into some sense. My memories of trading in the hob before the games waft into my mind with ease, lulling my thoughts into comfort as I get ready to hunt.  
It reads 9:30.  
I sigh, tapping the scratched up glass wishing that time would go faster, only to press the cold plated metal against my wrist. I grit my teeth, letting slashes of pain flow glide down my body.  
"Catnip?" I hear a familiar voice behind me. How could he not have startled a single thing in the woods? How could he not have moved a single crunched up leaf? Or stepped on a dry twig? Confusion sweeps though me till I come to the ultimate answer. He is Gale, and that is what simply Gale does.  
I smile with my back towards him, not letting the newly entranced smell of coal seep through my just found smile, so I just tap my bow twice, manage a stifled greeting, and trace the outline of the stark forest against the morning sun with my unmoving eyes. "Hey Gale" I whisper, trying to see if my mind is making me hallucinate to what I want to see, or if he's really there.  
"Are you real?" I ask again, tapping my foot patiently in a 45 degree manner like a dancer ready to take flight. I remind myself of someone right now, but my mind wont let me think of who. The mental pain creates a searing impenetrable barrier .  
"What are you talking about Catnip? Give me my hug before I force one out of you." I hear Gale's humorous tone bounce in my ears, finally playing the cards so right a real, true, smile forms out of my usually frowning lips. I felt the old me come back, the one who had a best friend, a mother, a sister, a father, and a simple, priceless life that I yearn to have back.  
"Maybe you should come get it" I tease, my voice falling flat but enough for me to mean it, dropping the bow delicately on the ground as he wraps his sinewy arms around my waist, creating a small utopia in his arms. Causing me to forget about anything but the pulsing of his vibrating heart.  
I crash against his chest, inhaling the musky scent of woods and the distasteful aroma of ember from his skin. "Gale.." I whisper, closing my eyes as he places one of his hands on the curve of my back, something he's never done before. I feel him press his cheek against mine wiping them with his calloused fingers.  
"I missed you Gale, so much" It happens like this every Sunday, but it happens not enough to keep my mind from the brink of insanity though the week. "I missed you too Catnip, Hey! why are you crying? What's the matter with you?" He teased, the chuckles of laughter wrapping me around my own little world.  
"I'm crying?" I stifle out, wiping the small pool of tears that collected at the corners of my eyes, flushing red and embarrassed.  
"Yea! What's with that Catnip? You used to be all tough and aggressive and now you're crying?" I broke another smile, letting him place my hands down and wiping the tears with his own rough perfect fingers.  
"I guess" My mind slips further away from hysteria and back into control as he tugs my braid out of my hair teasingly.  
"Hey don't do that!" I gasp picking up my bow from where one of us accidentally kicked it to the side. "And why not, Catnip? I have to make up a week and a month of not teasing you in a hunting day, so why not start now?" He smirked, a low and throaty sound tumbling out of his voice. I looked over from picking up strewn arrows, traces of the trails that tears created almost stinging from the wind.  
I grunt, finally picking up all of the scattered arrows and placing them in his hands. I laugh, it's something light and airy, distant and definitely not mine, but my voice falls into it like feet into worn shoes, becoming something real and comfortable. I look up, meeting his cool, thoughtful grey eyes fringed with dark thick lashes, noticing my disheveled reflection and a tight lipped smile that did not belong to me. My eyes traveled to the corners of his, following the straight of his nose, to the bridge, then down his flushed cheeks. That's odd, Gale never flushes. Then they finally dropped to his upturned mouth, distinguishing the slight chapped fringes from hard work. I noticed that coal dust did not appear, but the dark contrast formed a halo of midnight hair that framed his face. Light danced around his face, illuminating his smile.  
"Something wrong? Catnip?" Now it my turn to blush as I shook my head away, almost embarrassed. I didn't have a reason to though, he was my best friend and that's what best friends did, didn't I have a right to look at him?  
Confusion must have flashed in my eyes, for he took the quiver from my back, handling me as if I'm a statue while sliding the arrows inside. "I miss you, you know" Pain hollowed my voice, drumming at my side. "I know" He offered a husky nod. Ever since Gale passed the last reaping at the age of 18 he was permitted, as the call it instead of forcing, to work in the coal mines. I could never work down in the dark, down where my father once walked and died. But he has no choice, and he won't take any help from me.  
"You shouldn't work there Gale, I coul-" He cut me off.  
"No, No I can't Katniss, that is your money, your house, and your earnings" He stubbornly stated, aggressively placing the quiver into my hands. And I did earn that house. By killing Peeta Mellark.  
"Yes, yes you can" I shook my head.  
"No, I can't Katniss." I looked at him, flashing a grieving look whenever we brought up that topic. He glared at me back, allowing the muscles in his face to harden, giving him him years that he didn't live yet.  
"Let's go hunting" I simply stated, allowing emotions to thrash against my chest like waves against each other like in the so-called Ocean. I was hurt.  
Hurt that he wanted to reject my help.  
Hurt that he wanted to spend the rest of his days till he can't move anymore under tons of crumbling rock. At least he got to live, a whisper hummed in my ear.  
Gale went to my left, as he usually has through the years of hunting together, my feet stretching to fit into his silent, big tread. Soon we threaded into the lush forest, being encased in blankets and sheets of greenery. He walked over to a hollow log, slipped his long arm inside and pulled out one of my father's bows. I stared at him while he was doing this, falling into a trance. I hadn't noticed that I have been staring at his face until her offered a small smile, a sign of friendship and peace. I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms around my waist and tapping my foot lightly.

He held my gaze in his, drawing me in closer and closer.  
"Come on Everdeen, I believe we have some game to catch" He took a deep breath, lines creasing in his face that could only come from work.  
"Whatever you say, Hawthorne." I huffed, pulling out a slim arrow and twirling the shaft in between my fingers. They almost feel right.

After a collection of small animals turned into a heap, Gale and I decided to go after some big game. "Katniss?" He whispered as I followed him up a fallen tree. I pressed my fingers to my mouth, my hand tense with focus as I peered behind him, refusing to meet his eyes.  
"Katniss?" Gale asks again, his voice hanging heavily in the distilled air. Without thinking I put my hand over his mouth, almost wincing as they graze over his slight dark, sharp stubble. I let go of my hand from his mouth, and receive a glare as my payment. With a few glances thrown around us, and with no evident game, I cross my arms around my middle, then stare at Gale dead on.  
"What?" I hiss, grinding my teeth against each other in the process.

"There's no game here." He offered indifferently pulling back his bow and bending down to caress some scattered berries off of the ground. I release a sigh, tap my left foot twice and crawl over on my knees to go the the bushes near our feet. I kneel on a over ripe berry, feeling the slush while the overly sweet stench reached my nose.  
Painful imagery reappears into my mind, leaving behind the heavy groggy-ness that I tried to forget. Berries.  
Nightlock.  
I cry out, grasping a rough branch that laid across my calf, dragging it across my palm gasping for air. "Catnip!" I hear a faint voice as I feel my body being lifted off of the ground , the branch becoming shredds of a twig as someone wraps themselves around me, plucking the bow strung across my back to the ground, laying my head on their shoulder. I felt shivers rock my body, each time the the person squeezed me tighter, not allowing cold to seep into me.  
Tears wouldn't come, my eyes were too tired for that.  
"Catnip? Are you okay? What's wrong? I heard Gale ask, my lip quviering with anticipation.  
"It's nothing Gale, just nothing." I whispered, my eyes dropping down to memorize the patch -work pattern of the forest floor. Grass jutted out in random patches like broken bone, the dirt stretched over like taught skin, filling in the cracks between the riffs like clay. I felt a whoosh of air separate me from warmth as Gale pulled my face into his rugged palms.  
"You sure about that?" Hurt misted his foggy eyes, clouding them into a stone-mill grey. I nodded, took an inhale of sharp air into my flimsy lungs and keep the gaze that he offered me. I hadn't bothered talking to him about the games, not to anyone, not to anything except that old cat Buttercup who wouldn't steal a glace at anything but Prim.  
"I'm fine right now" I shudder, uncomfortable from the warmth. Gale's gaze falls down to mine, pumping me with so much emotion that I want to cry out. I tighten my grip on his hand.  
"Can I ask you something?" He hummed into my ear as I placed my head on his strong, lean shoulder, finally stopping to shiver. "What?" I drawled, picking up a strand of his dark full locks, and pressing them to my thumb.  
"Did you really love him like that?" The question takes me by surprise, filling my voice with so much desperation of avoidance that I choke on air. No one bothered to ask me anything of that sort ever since I came home. Ever. I shut my eyes, holding onto my broken up pallet of sanity that I slowly tried to piece together.  
My tone comes out flat.  
"Why" I ask, breathing in short quick gasps feeling as if I'm going to blow up. I can't think about him right now. I can't.  
"So I know if I'm in my right to do this." I felt his rugged breath on mine, asking for permission, but Gale was Gale, he didn't need permission to do something he wanted. That's why I found him all those years ago setting up snares in the middle of the cloaked forest, a illegal hunter, just like me. My mind reeled into thought, forgetting where I was. My eyes fluttered to a close, anticipating his lean body close to mine, then they finally snapped open when feel of the hot press of his lips sending vibrations though my mouth coursed through me. A buzz filled my ears, reminding me of what I was finally doing.  
My bestfriend was kissing me.  
And I was kissing back. I wasn't too sure of that but Gale wasn't pulling away, in fact the taste of oranges and smoke swirled into my mouth stronger.  
Memories surged through me then fizzled out, getting caught up in the moment as Gale shifted his body to press deeper into mine.  
"Gale" I murmured into him as I finally pulled away, my mind in a daze and certainly spinning.

"Why did you do that?" I blinked a few times, groaning as the rough bark bit into my back. A felt a thick blush brighten my cheeks, and a splash of heat drawing through my face. My best friend just kissed me.  
"What do you mean why? Because that was one of the ways to keep you from passing out … and.." His voice dragged on as he twirled shards of ripped grass into his sweaty palms leaving them to topple onto each other. I felt the pressure from Gale's sweet kiss pound into my mouth, then into my pulse as it hammered into my ears like a tight drum.  
I could feel his gaze pierce through mine, his hands creeping up on mine, pinning them to the ground in a subtle, gentle matter.  
"Did you?" Gale carried an anguished face, his eye-brows furrowed deep into his dark eyes as my mind twisted, coming back to reality.

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